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A tribute to Stu, a sweet man with a big heart.
 This Is Stu (his "Getting to Know You" post)
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stu2  Older than dirt Scooby Stu (5/7/03 1:22 pm) 
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I guess it’s my turn. I’m stu, Stuart in real life, in case you didn’t know.  For some strange reason I hate being called Stu in real life, but would almost rather be called that on line. The reason it’s lower case is because when I look at the big picture in life I’m not that significant. On line I try and be the same person that I am in the real world. Over the years I’ve had the privilege to meet quite a few people in person that I first met on line, and with one exception they have all been IRL what I grew to know on line.
I first became enamored with the Monkees Saturday mornings in the 60s. Over the years they have been a constant part of my life especially when they made their 80s come back. While not a hard corp fan, I can’t think of a band that I’ve been a fan of longer, or still listen to and collect. My major music collection are 80s videos. Currently I have well over 300 music videos, mostly from the 80s, and do try and watch at least a few daily. Ya gotta love hair bands.
I was married for just short of 4 years, and am now happily single, but not looking for any one right now. There are a few things in my life I need to get in order before I start looking for a woman. Having never been a parent, I do my best to spoil my three godsons that live in MI, and do what I can to be a father figure to three wonderful cyber kids. Chad, my cyber son, recently returned from Afghanistan serving with the 82nd Airborne. He and I met 7 years ago in a firearms related chat room. At the time he was 14 and there as part of the community talking guns with the rest of us. Over the years we became close starting out with me being like an older brother to him, and as he grew and needed advise on some of life’s problems, the relationship became more of a father and son. It absolutely floored me when he sent me a picture from his Sr prom, and told me that he had only two copies made. There are no words to describe the pride I felt when he joined the army and worked his way through training to become a member of the 82nd. BTW he is 21 and single, in case any of you wanted to know.
Demi is my cyber daughter that lives on this side of the pond. Right now my biggest problem is figuring out what to get her for her 18th birthday in a few weeks. The great thing about our relationship is that her mother and I talk regularly about her and what’s going on in her life. This is a good thing because I didn’t want her to worry that some pervert was hitting on her daughter on line. Ill be attending a wedding in her state this fall, and am planning on finally meeting her and her mom then. Rachael is my second cyber daughter. Second only because that was the order that she was adopted in. She would be the daughter across the pond, and causes most of my head aches. Why ohh why does she feel the need to date before she turns 35??? In the last several months I’ve managed to scare away two boys that wanted to date her by explaining to them just what will happen if they mistreat her, much less make her cry. The general threat is that if they make her cry, Ill make them cry. It’s even better because neither of them bothered to figure out just how I was going to do that from America.
Lets see, what else. I have a gray tabby named Spot, or as she prefers to be called “Spot the wonder tabby” Strange cat, but a lot more loveable then the 16’ python I used to have. I’m a member on and or work on several boards, and do what I can to be a contributing member on all of them. If there’s anything else you wanna know, just ask. "Move yourself and glide like a 747 Lose yourself in the sky among the clouds in the heavens"
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Dedicated to the memory of Stuart Alan Fjeld March 25, 1963 - February 2, 2004 Stuart Alan Fjeld was a close friend of mine. We had met online, through a message board I frequent. Though he was born in 1963 and I in 1986, he was forty one and I was seventeen, the age difference never really appeared. We were friends, and that was what mattered. Stu, as I called him, played a larger role in my life than he ever could have known. He would type pages and paragraphs about relationships and dating. He would tell me that once I started dating (and I had better wait until I was at least thirty-five) that he would be honoured to screen a male’s thoughts and feelings for me. We would often talk for an hour or two about how he thought the eighties were so awesome, or, again, about relationships. He began my eighties music video collection with his favourites by A-Ha and Queen, among others. Our topics of interest ranged from music like Duran Duran to “Weird Al” Yankovic, to photo editing, to sitting back and enjoying life. He had no trouble in telling anyone exactly what they meant to him, or sharing a moment that reminded him of them. Though we lived far apart, we always seemed to find something to bridge the gap. Stu lived in Colorado, I in Ontario, so we never got to meet. The geographical gap didn’t matter, it seemed to strengthen the friendship rather than separate us. We came to appreciate each other for our personalities and perceptions, not for looks and location. Throughout conversations, we came to know a lot about each other, including likes and dislikes. Stu often stressed that he hated to be called by his shortened name in real life, but preferred it over the internet. I don’t think there was a single time I called him Stuart- we were too close for that. He called me by my nickname, I called him by his. He usually wrote his name completely in lower case, because according to him, "when I look at the big picture in life, I’m not that significant." No matter how insignificant he may have thought he was, he had no clue how important he was to many of us at that message board. Just reading his posts could brighten a day, and we never really took the time to tell him that. None succeeded quite like Stu when it came to making someone at "the board" feel good about themselves. At this particular message board, we had this monthly occurrence which we referred to as the Monkeeland Music Mix. We would make CDs and send them to people, the catch being that they wouldn’t know who was sending to them. Stuart’s neighbour now tells us that Stu would eat nothing but rice for three days a month to make sure he had the money to ship the CDs. That is the kind of person he was. Neighbour’s children would come to him to fix their toys. He would amuse them with little magic tricks. One of the people who holds these memories close is his ex-wife. He was married for a stint of around four years, then divorced, and was a happy single. He would tell us he had a lot to get in order before he started looking for another woman. Though he never became a parent in his one marriage, he had three godsons and three online "cyber kids", as he called them. They were as close to him as his own flesh and blood would have been, and he treated them that way, too. He was so proud when his only cyber son, Chad, joined the army. He was very careful of who Demi and Rachael dated, and often held conferences with their boyfriends, making sure they were treating them well. He knew what could happen if they fell in with the wrong people. Stu was a proud member of the NRA, and would often shun my views of Bowling for Columbine being an excellent film, telling me half of it wasn’t true. However, I could overlook his views on the film, as it was the sole thing we didn’t seem to agree on. Stu passed away on Monday, February second, 2004, as a result of a diabetic attack. He went peacefully, in his sleep, and we were informed a few days later by his downstairs neighbour. Two weeks later, as I write this essay, we are all still shocked that he is no longer with us, and are finding it hard to deal with the fact that he is gone forever. Despite the sadness, there is a good side to this. We all knew Stu was always there for us, and thought he always would be. He has made us realize that anything can happen, and that we should appreciate each other and tell people how we feel before anything occurs. He has made me realize what precious friends I have. He had made me see that friends aren’t something to take for granted. I have many other online friends, one battling cancer, and it has encouraged me to tell her how I feel, to let her know I really do care about her. Sure, death may not always seem fair, but what has come out of Stuart’s passing, for me, is for the better. I now know that one life can touch many, no matter how small or insignificant that one person may seem. That person has the ability to reach out and encourage others in the direction of their dreams. One single person can make such a difference in a life, even if it’s just by opening up and starting a conversation with "Hey. Do you like the eighties?" |
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Posted By: Cissee |
Stuart Alan Fjeld (March 25, 1963 - February 2, 2004) Stuart, known familiarly as stu2, was a friend, an advisor, and a basically good human being. Strong in his faith, Stuart always helped out other people and shared his wisdom and gentleness with anyone in need. He leaves behind 3 godchildren and 3 cyberchildren who will miss him very much. In addition to these, he leaves behind countless friends and people who loved him and will always remember the hair-band loving, gun-toting teddybear who made such a difference in their lives. Not just a fellow MonkeeLander, Stu was a protector, a harrasser (all in fun), and one of the most down-to-earth people I've ever had the privilege to know. Goodbye, Stu. We will not be the same without you. |
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Posted By: Danielle |
I've never been to a memorial service before, but I'll try...
Stu, you meant so much to me, you'll never know... Everything you've done for me, whether it be the CD mixes, or just random comments, have touched my in some way, whether I laughed, or blushed or even cried. I thank you for the friendship you've shown me and everyone here. We all miss you so much, and you'll always have a place in my heart. I hope you are safe and happy in Heaven and I hope you rest in peace. We'll meet again someday. Well, we'll actually meet someday. Farewell for now, Stu. We love you. --Danielle |
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Posted By: Petey |
Love ya, Stu, and always will. You've touched my life more than you'll ever know. Thank you. You've given me some of the best advice I could ever have been given, and you never failed to make me smile. Miss you.... but I have faith we will meet again.
-Petey |
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Posted By: Laura |
Stu, you were one of the greatest people I've ever known. You were sensible, respectful, and very kind to all. There can be no other like you; you were one of a kind. I hope you have found a better place. We miss you.
- Laura |
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Posted By: Chris |
In spite of his illness he reached outside himself to help others. Great rewards are his in Heaven, I'm sure.
Chris |
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Posted By: Amanda |
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Posted By: Kessy |
from this world into the next
from the bottom of hearts to the outstreached arms lives touched and blessed by your appearence saddened by your disappearence loved evermore sat04 Alwaysforever, Kessy |
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Posted By: Roo |
Unlimited joy, unlimited time
and the beauty of infinite light.
Rest In Peace Stu |
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Posted By: Bettina |
Fond farewell, Stu. You were a blessing to all of us here.
love Bettina |
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Posted By: Randi Parton |
I hope you are at peace now Stu. You are missed.
Randi Parton |
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Posted By: Cindi |
Stu, what can I say? I never met you but I felt like I'd known you all my life (much like many of my friends here). You will truly be missed in ways I suspect I won't even realize for a long time. I still think of you being down at the other end of the "turnpike" and regret that we never got the chance to meet.
Thank you for your wisdom and your soul and yourself. You will be missed. I will be grateful always for knowing you. with love, Cindi |
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Posted By: Lizzy |
Stu, you typed your name with a lowercase "s" - stu - because you said that in the "big picture of life", you're "not that significant". To us, you were a very significant person. You gave love and friendship without predjudice - in spite of your own problems, you gave support and love to those in need. No one will ever replace you - you will always hold a special place in our hearts.
With love always, Lizzy |
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Posted By: Chel |
Rest in peace stu |
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Posted By: Kat |
"...i know i'll never lose affection for people and things that went before, i know i'll often stop and think about them..."
goodbye for now Stu KAT |
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Posted By: Dawn |
In the words of Billy Shakespeare, "Goodnight, sweet prince. And may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest." And, if there's any justice in Heaven and Earth, they're singing a really cheesy song from the 80s. Lurve, Dawn |
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Posted By: C4D |
Stu, I didn't know you very well, but I do know you will be greatly missed.
Rest in peace. |
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Posted By: Elaine |
Stu - I didn't know you for a long time, but I will miss you. You were a very clever and understanding person that I'm sure will be sadly missed by many. Rest in Peace, Elaine xxx |
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Posted By: Feef |
Goodbye Stu. I didn't really know you that well but from what I did know, you seemed like a thoughtful, trustworthy person. Rest In Peace |
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Posted By: Erich |
This is what Stu's Ex-wife wrote after hearing of his passing:
Today, over a week after it happened, I found out about Stuart’s passing. There is an expression for death called "Called Home." For Stuart that is completely appropriate. He was a firm believer in God and Christ’s love and I know that he is home, in their arms, and at peace. Yes, I was married to Stuart for 2.5 years and lived with him a few years prior to that time. We had our ups and downs. I am happy to say that the last time I saw Stuart we had a very long talk and he hugged me goodbye. Here are a few things I remember about Stuart: REPUBLICAN! That was something he was very sure and proud of. He was proud to be an American and loved his country. He really loved the Bill of Rights and the freedoms this country brought him. LOVING. Stuart felt very strongly about his friends and family. His family included all walks of life, all races, and any preferences you can think of. He would defend anyone in his family. For Christmas one year Stuart gave me a dog, Harley. They were close friends. One day Stuart brought home from work a cat he had found in an alley. The cat was ill and died a few days later. Stuart cried. All of God’s creatures meant something to Stuart. Did you know he had a pet rabbit? GUNS. Oh yeah, he loved his guns. KIND. Stuart was so kind the neighbor children used to go to him to fix their toys. When he believed that the year 2000 would bring down our resources, he stockpiled (for years) enough food and water to keep his loved ones taken care of for a year. MAGIC. Did you know that Stuart was a magician? His slight-of-hand was excellent. Even on our wedding day when there was some confusion with an extra band, he "palmed" it into his pocket. A MILE HIGH. Stuart loved working at the stadium. We spent many wonderful hours there together. It was a sad that when they tore it down. STUART & ME. I am well aware that after our break-up Stuart didn’t have many kind things to say about me. But he did love me once. He did wonderful, romantic things. I would come home to surprises, be it a beautiful ring or a set of calligraphy pens for only one reason - he loved me. We had a magical wedding. He proposed by giving me a teddy bear with a diamond engagement ring on a ribbon around the bear’s neck. I know Stuart is in peace. We will see him again. -Marie |
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Posted By: Lucy |
I've tried to put into words what losing you means to me, but there are no words. I got the news two weeks ago today and the tears still flow.
Rachael and I are e-mailing. I know that makes you happy. You wanted me to be a part of the kid's lives and I'm trying to do that. I can't be there for them like you were, but I'll do what I can. I love you and miss you, but I know that you're still here. A few things that only you will understand: ~ Missy knows ~  ~ Goodbye Cupcake Love, Lucy |
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Posted By: Manda |
stu, did you ever meet someone, even briefly, who instantly struck you as an incredibly warm, passionate, enlightened, and basically indescribably amazing person the moment you met them, and you really, really wanted to become better acquainted with them, and you envied the people in their lives because they were, well, in their lives?
that's exactly how i felt the moment i first met you, in an mland chat. i knew i needed to get back to posting regularly on mland so that i could get to know you better. but, time went on, and my workload at school became heavier, and i started working full time in the summer, and things came up...and i didn't post at mland more than a few times a month, if that. i kept thinking "i'll start posting after this project is over, after this essay is handed in, after i've taken my last college admissions test, after i've finished my college applications". but it never happened. and now you're...gone. well, gone from *this* world anyway. and even though i barely knew you, my mind has gone numb from the shock of the information, and i have an ever-growing tightness in my stomach and chest that is too intense to be expressed in tears. so what can i say to you now, except that i know you're somewhere a thousand times better than this earth, this life, and that i know you'll touch just as many people there as you've touched here? you were an absolutely incredible person, stu. you ARE an absolutely incredible person, and i know that'll never change, no matter where you are. just remember that we all love you, more than you could possibly know. peace, manda |
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Posted By: Jailyn |
Till we meet again...you will always be in my heart and on my mind.
Take care Pooh buddy. 
~~Come fly away with me~~ ~~Jailyn~~ |
From Petey